“Phone! Phone! Game!…” the little 3-year-old darling was wailing in her pram. Mummy quickly shoved her the I-phone to avoid further stares from strangers.
“Haiz, kids nowadays, so young already demanding and addicted to I-phone,” mummy complained.
I bumped into an old friend and that was the little ‘commotion’ that occurred during our chit chat.
You see, the little one’s constant demand for the phone has become a problem for my dear friend and she was complaining to me non-stop about it and also how her elder one was so hooked onto computer games.
But, who was the one who created this problem? Wasn’t it mummy herself or perhaps it was daddy ?
I am sure little darling would not have known what is an Iphone if she was not introduced to it in the first place. And how did she get ‘addicted’ if she was not given the chance to meddle with it often?
Truth is, all these gadgets have become our baby-sitters but who are the ones who engaged them in the first place?
My point is, more often than not, we complain about problems that we ourselves created.
Let’s look at a couple more examples:
1) High COE / high petrol price / road tax / ERP –
Because we want to own a car. Yes, some may have real needs like job requirement, disabled family member, but most of us buy because it is more ‘convenient’, because it is a sign of social status.
A couple friend of mine kept complaining to me about not having enough left at the end of the month because of their car. And when I suggested them to sell it since they do not have a real need for it, “Oh! Cannot lah, I’m not used to taking public transport lah….” – Faint
2) High standard of living
Exactly what kind of living are we talking about here? I know of people who complain about having to cut down on their meals because
– they are saving to buy a Prada bag
– they want to grab the latest model of the highest end digital camera plus all accessories
– their friends have just come back from Europe tour, and they want to go too.
Above are ‘wants’ that we can do without but we choose to have them anyway, no matter what. These ‘wants’ then become problems. Since we are the ones who choose to have those problems, then deal with them; complaining won’t make the problems go away.
Of course, some problems are ‘bestowed’ upon us. But all the same, we have to deal with them, running away complaining will not solve them.
It’s just like having to do a Maths problem sum. We can stare at the problem, grumble grumble grumble till time’s up then get a big ZERO.
So, stop complaining, get on with it, try ways and means to solve the problem. If we fail, learn from it and tendency is we will be more equipped to solve the same kind of problem the next time round.
Then, some of us like to complain about things that we have no control over, eg the weather. “why so hot??” “alamak, rain rain rain, so sian leh!”
C’mon, can we do anything about the weather? No, not unless we own the weather switch.
So does complaining about the weather actually change the weather, much less, make us feel better? I don’t think so. Most of the time, complaining will kinda reinforce our negative belief /thoughts and thus make us feel worse.
So, why complain over something that we have no control over and make ourselves miserable? Instead, learn to make the best of it and live with it. Just like they say,
“when life gives you lemon, make lemonade ” (reminder:- add a teaspoon of sugar)
Of course, being a typical Singaporean, I can’t declare that I do not complain.
As a matter of fact, my husband calls me a complain queen 😛
What then do I “complain” about? Hmmm…let’s see…
– The lift was stucked on the 5th floor, I called up the lift company to have them send their maintenance team.
– I ordered fried chicken rice and it came with anything but chicken. Of course, I asked them to change.
– The passengers refused to move the the rear, I raised my voice a little 🙂 “please move to the back, behind got ghost izit?”
Are these complaints? According to my noble other half, yes they are. Well, to me, they are called feedback 🙂